


One Way Or Another

by RaeDMagdon



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angry Sex, Desk Sex, F/F, Fingering, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Rough Sex, Vanilla, public sex (fantasy)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 02:56:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7490511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaeDMagdon/pseuds/RaeDMagdon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liara sees some interesting footage of Shepard and Morinth on the Shadow Broker network, and tries to process what it means for their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Way Or Another

**Author's Note:**

> Please follow me @raedmagdon on tumblr if you haven't already. That's where I post all my updates now.

Liara stared at the grainy footage with narrowed eyes, her mind moving a few seconds ahead of the action she was watching. This was the third time she had gone over the clip, and she practically had it memorized. There was Shepard's hand, rubbing the edge of a dark-eyed asari's arm. There was the smile, the laugh, the subtle stretch of Shepard's shoulders when she was trying to play casual, but also making a clear attempt to show off the muscles beneath her uniform shirt. And there—there were the asari's fingertips, almost hidden in shadow beneath the table, caressing the edge of Shepard's knee.

She paused the vid. Took a deep breath. Bit her lip and sucked it between her teeth as she started the vid again.

It was more than her own petty jealousy at watching Shepard flirt with someone else. It was more than the sexual body language, the seductive whispers, the all too visible energy crackling between them. If Shepard had taken someone else to bed, some random human merc, or an asari commando passing through, or one of the strippers who made their living on Omega, Liara might not have thought twice about it. Shepard had been dead for two years. Any promises of monogamy and romantic exclusivity had surely died with her… at least until their reunion on Hagalaz. Liara would have been wounded, but she could have forgiven.

But this? This was different. She had read the reports. She knew what this creature was. A murderer, a monster—and she'd had Shepard in her sights.

_ Oh, Shepard. Two years to bring you back from the dead, and you almost got yourself killed again. Why? _

Liara already knew the answer, of course. Shepard had been trying to play the hero, just like always. It was why Liara had fallen in love with her in the first place, but sometimes, in moments like these...

_ Sometimes, I wish you wouldn't. Sometimes, I wish you would stop risking your life for other people and just devote yourself to me. _

It was a supremely selfish thought, even if it was one she couldn't dismiss. Without Shepard, the galaxy was as good as doomed. Even if that hadn't been the case, Liara knew asking Shepard to stop being a hero was only slightly less likely than breaking the laws of physics. The Reapers were coming, and when they did, Shepard would be in the thick of the fray, just like always.

But still, Liara couldn't help wishing. Couldn't help grieving the peaceful life they could only have in her dreams. Couldn't help  _ resenting _ that Shepard treated her own safety, her own life, so casually.

Liara paused the clip again, freezing the image and zooming in on Shepard's face with a swipe of her fingers. Tenderly, she caressed the pale outline of her lover's cheek, swallowing down the lump that had risen in her tight, burning throat.  _ You might have been the one to die, but without you, I was the one who wished I could. _

* * *

Shepard whistled happily to herself as she strode down the dimly lit hall, hands shoved in the pockets of her uniform pants and boots tapping along the metallic grating beneath her feet. Maybe it was weird, she mused, being so chipper as she skipped along the spooky, flickering corridor of the Shadow Broker's ship, but she couldn't help but be cheerful. Things were finally going right for a change. She had defeated the Collectors. She had told the Illusive Man to go fuck himself. And, best of all, Liara was waiting for her to come and visit.

They had stayed in communication as best they could while they were apart, and Liara's new resources meant that it was easy for her to get in touch, but it wasn't the same as seeing each other in the flesh.  _ It's not even about the sex, _ Shepard thought, although she did feel a pulse of heat between her legs as she remembered their...intense reunion after the defeat of the original Shadow Broker.  _ It's about holding her. Having her in my arms. Knowing she still wants to be with me, even after everything we've been through... _

By the time she reached the sliding doors that led to Liara's private office, her heart was practically pounding out of her chest. She felt like she was floating in zero-g, and she barely heard Glyph's robotic chirp of greeting as she walked by. As soon as she stepped into the room, she only had eyes for one thing: Liara, hunched over her monitors, looking far older than a hundred and eight and much more exhausted than usual.

Instantly, Shepard's good mood was replaced with one of concern. "Hey, Liara," she said, speaking up to get her lover's attention.

Liara looked up, and for a brief moment, a warm smile spread across her face. It made her look like her normal self again, and Shepard was reassured. But it vanished all too quickly, and Liara returned to her work, focusing on the glowing monitors. "I'll just be another minute, Shepard. I should have finished responding to these reports an hour ago. I'm just so far behind—"

Shepard's first instinct was to demand that Liara stop, not just to pay attention to her, but to get some rest.  _ Her eyes look like they're about to fall out if she stares at a screen any longer, and she's swaying on her feet.  _ But she knew such protests wouldn't be welcome. Reluctantly, she decided to let Liara be.  _ She always supports me, even when it's not easy. The least I can do is return the favor. _

"Take your time," she said, circling around the edge of the Shadow Broker's sleek desk and propping her backside against its edge, just a yard out of Liara's reach. "I'll be over here. Looking sexy."

Liara snorted, but didn't disagree before returning to her work. While her fingers flew over the haptic interface, Shepard watched, admiring the dexterous movements of her hands. They danced wherever they went, slender and graceful, and even though she knew it wasn't intentional, Shepard couldn't help feeling a bit teased. She knew all too well what those fingers were capable of, and the fact that they were typing instead of unfastening her clothes and...doing other things...left her a little grumpy.

But only a little. She was still riding the highs of her recent successes, and the fact that she was here with Liara only made things better.  _ She'll be done soon. Then we can— _

"Thank you for waiting," Liara murmured, closing out of the windows and turning away from the monitors at last.

Shepard stepped forward, pulling her into an embrace. "You waited for me for two years," she pointed out, running a soothing hand down the middle of Liara's stiff lower back. "I can wait for two minutes." She felt the gentle hitch of Liara's breath against her at the mention of their separation, but her lover didn't say anything. Instead, Liara's arms tightened, their hold almost bordering on uncomfortable. Shepard allowed it, waiting for Liara to let go, but when the hug didn't end, or even slacken, she used the last of her breath to speak. "Um, Liara? Are you...okay?"

Liara gave a small start, then released her grip, stepping back and smoothing out the front of her lab coat as though she were embarrassed. "Yes, Shepard. I am fine. Why do you ask?"

A doubtful wrinkle formed in Shepard's brow. Something was niggling at the back of her mind, a suspicion she couldn't quite grasp. She did, however, know one thing. Liara wasn't fine. Her lover might have learned how to lie over the past few years, but Shepard knew her tells. The sweet, awkward maiden she had fallen in love with still existed somewhere beneath the cold shell of the new Shadow Broker.

"That was a pretty tight hug," she said, rolling her shoulders to work some of the stiffness out. "And you're not smiling at me like you usually do. I've been here five minutes, and you still haven't kissed me..."

"A kiss?" Liara did give her a smile then, but something about it wasn't quite right. Her lips were almost pouting, pulled into a seductive shape that Shepard wasn't used to. "That, I should be able to provide." She leaned in, and before Shepard could protest, their mouths met, sliding together much hotter and rougher than she had expected.

The kiss burned. It ate through her, leaving her raw and open and confused, and Shepard almost considered drawing back. Instead of relaxing or reassuring her, the harsh kiss marked the beginning of an internal battle. From the eager press of Liara's tongue, Shepard could tell her lover wanted this. It was a desperate, demanding gesture in a way that was all too clear even without words. Tingling shudders traveled all the way to the tips of Shepard’s fingers and toes, and a low ache throbbed to life between her legs, making her thigh muscles clench as she adjusted to the rush of sensation.

But this wasn't Liara. This wasn't how she kissed. How she asked for things. How she initiated intimacy. The Liara she knew was shy but curious, eager to learn and to please. Hungry for skin, but also willing to pause and stare in joyful wonder. Liara’s kisses always started soft and cautious, more exploratory than forceful. Even on their night together before Ilos, when things had been at their most uncertain, and during their tearful reunion after the defeat of the original Shadow Broker, Liara hadn't been like this.

Something was wrong, and despite the lance of disappointed need that pierced her abdomen at the thought of stopping, Shepard knew she couldn't continue until Liara had explained herself.  _ This isn't right. Before we do this, we need to talk... _

It was clear, however, that Liara had little interest in talking. Shepard found herself groaning as the her lover’s teeth sank into her lower lip, and her hips gave a short jerk forward as a hand hand slid down her lower back to grip the swell of her ass. It was almost torture to stop—she had never risen so high or so fast before—but she managed to put a gentle hand on Liara’s shoulder and give a slight push to separate them. “Hold on a sec, Liara. What’s going on?”

"I think you know what’s going on," Liara muttered into her mouth, silky tongue flicking out to soothe the spot she had bitten. "We’re kissing. And we’re about to do other things.”

_ Other things? _ Shepard’s gaze darted over to the abandoned monitors. Everything was switched off, but she still felt as though there were eyes and ears on them. Liara had never tried to initiate sex anywhere but a bedroom or the shower before, and although Shepard had to admit the idea was tempting in theory, she knew that this wasn’t the right time or place.

"Okay, I never thought I'd say this, but don't you think we should just...talk first? About what's bothering you, maybe?"

"Nothing is bothering me," Liara said, but her voice didn't carry the necessary emotion. It was flat and cold—the same voice Shepard had heard her use on the call in her office several months ago, when she had threatened one of her clients with an asari commando unit. "I missed you, Shepard. I want to reconnect."

Shepard took Liara's face in her hands, letting the warmth there seep into her palms, and running the tip of her thumb tenderly along Liara's cheek. "Then connect with me. Tell me what's going on."

For a moment, she didn't think she would get anything. Liara's face was dark, as unreadable as stone. But gradually, cracks began to form. Tears welled in her soft blue eyes, and Shepard was instantly transported back two years in time, to the night when Liara had first come to her cabin. "I...all right, Shepard. I'm sorry. My behavior was inappropriate—"

"Not inappropriate," Shepard said, still stroking Liara's cheek. She tapped one of the freckles there, and was gratified to see a weak smile twitch at Liara's lips. It was genuine this time, and her heart surged with relief. "Just weird. I want to know what's going on with you. If we're going to make this work again, we need to talk."

"I am not sure I can put it into words," Liara admitted. Her eyes fluttered down in what almost looked like shame, hiding beneath her lashes. "Could...would it be possible for me to show you instead? I would understand if you chose not to meld with me while I am in such an emotional state, but it may help explain things."

Shepard let her hand fall, tucking her fingers beneath the point of Liara's chin instead and urging her to raise her head. Their eyes met again, and Shepard leaned down, until their foreheads were resting together and the sides of their noses brushed. "Of course. Anything you want."

Liara drew in a deep, shaking breath. "Very well. Embrace eternity, Shepard."

Her eyes flashed, welling over with black light, and Shepard felt the familiar tingle at the back of her head an instant later. She did her best not to fight it, relaxing as much as possible, and gazing into the swirling galaxies of Liara's shining irises as she opened her mind...

_ Music blares around her, full of dark, violent pulses and throbbing rhythms. The bass vibrates through her bones, but it doesn't make her shudder nearly as much as the fingertips skimming down her arm. _

_ "Some nights I come here, and there's no one interesting to talk to. Some nights, there's just one person. Tonight it's you. Why is that?" _

_ She leans forward, gazing into the asari's heavily-lidded eyes. "Because you and I want the same things." _

_ "Do we?" _

_ Time flashes forward. She's laughing, enjoying the warm buzz of conversation even though she hasn't touched the drink in front of her. "What about Vaenia? That's one of my favorites." _

_ "Mine too. The two actresses in it are so glamorous...throwing off their responsibilities, indulging in pure hedonism. We all wish we could do the same, even if most of us won't admit it..." _

_ The image fades, and then it’s only Liara in her head, thinking in a trembling whisper. “Did you really mean that? What you said…” _

Her answer came so quickly, so instinctively, that Shepard didn't even bother forming words. She simply sent a wave of feeling toward Liara, pushing every bit of love and trust and reassurance she could summon through the connection between them. Morinth hadn't meant anything to her. She had been beautiful, engaging, even tragic, but set against the bright star that was Liara, she wasn't even a candle.

Instead of love and understanding, however, Shepard felt the sharp bite of sadness against her mind—an emotional pain so intense that it was almost physical. It crushed her chest and stung in her eyes, pounding in her head until her entire body felt hollow and raw. Once she adjusted to the intensity of the feeling, she realized it wasn't jealousy.

Liara wasn't jealous of Morinth. Liara didn't care that they had flirted, that they had kissed, that Shepard had gone back to Morinth's apartment—even though it was just with the intention of taking her captive. Liara was angry. Angry that Shepard had risked her life. Angry that she had put herself in such a dangerous situation. And beneath that anger was a dark, bubbling pit of fear. Liara was  _ afraid.  _ So afraid that Shepard felt like she was in empty space all over again, air supply cut, floating through endless black nothing.

_ "I saw you die once, Shepard. How many times am I going to have to watch you risk your life again?" _

Now things made a bit more sense. Liara's pain, her fear, and her resentment were still knotted tightly together, but Shepard did her best to pick through them, offering reassurances as she went. She was sure her efforts were clumsy—Liara had much more access to her mind than she had to Liara's—but she tried anyway, giving what comfort she could and hoping it would be enough.

_ "I'm sorry, Liara. So sorry. Believe me, I didn't mean to hurt you. I never wanted you to feel like this. If I had known, I would have—" _

But the words weren't getting through. Liara pulled back, leaving Shepard feeling even emptier than before. The gap between them was growing, and so she reached out in the physical world, gripping Liara's sleeves in a desperate attempt to keep her close.

_ "Don't, Shepard. Don't lie. Don't tell me you would have done things differently. We both know you better than that." _

Shepard's heart sank. The thoughts were cutting, but true. She wanted peace, wanted the perfect two-story house and the peaceful sunsets on the porch and the sound of little blue children yelling happily as they played in the front yard. But that wasn't the world they lived in. They lived in a world with Reapers, and Cerberus, and people like Morinth who preyed on those who were weaker. And in a world like that, Commander Shepard couldn't afford to hide away in a dream.

This time, she knew what to say. 

_ "No matter what happens..." _ Instead of love and tenderness, Shepard sent determination. She sent her courage, her ferocity, every scrap of rage she'd felt at the forces that had separated them for so long.  _ "...you mean everything to me, Liara..."  _ She took Liara's anger inside herself, redirecting it with all her strength—at the Reapers, at Cerberus, at the duties that threatened to keep them apart.  _ "You always will. And anything or anyone that tries to take you from me...they're already dead and buried. They just don't know it yet." _

_ "But what about the ones trying to take you away from me?"  _ Liara kissed her again, hard—or maybe they had been kissing all along. Thanks to the intensity of the meld, Shepard couldn't be sure. The physical sensations came only in flashes, so lost were the two of them in each other's minds.  _ "I cannot lose you again, Shepard. The first time nearly broke me. And what did you risk your life for this time? For...for..."  _ Liara’s feelings swelled, and Shepard was overtaken by the meld once more.

_ She’s back in the club, tucked into the same dark corner booth as before, but she isn't alone. A lithe body is straddling her lap, firm thighs pressing into either side of hers. There's a lovely dip of blue cleavage hovering near her face, although it disappears too soon, plunging into the low neckline of a clinging black dress. When Shepard looks up, it isn't Morinth's angular features that she sees. It's Liara. Soft lips, sweetly rounded face, freckled cheeks. She's a strange mix of innocent and seductive, the icy matron and the blushing maiden in one. _

"Is this what you risked your life for, Shepard? This kind of thrill?"  _ Liara's voice comes from both within the meld and outside of it, echoing over itself. It's harsh, and angry, and resentful, but there's a soft note in the feelings lying beneath: a silent, wordless caress of reassurance. _

_ At once, Shepard understands. This is Liara's way of working through her jealousy and fear, for dealing with all the ugliness she's kept bottled up. Shepard runs her hand down along meld-Liara's bare arm, giving it a soft squeeze just above her elbow. "Liara...fuck me. Just fuck me." She wished she had better words, a more eloquent way of offering her permission, but this is the best she can do. And apparently, it's enough. In a matter of moments, both of Liara's hands are fumbling with their clothes. One rucks up the bottom half of her dress, revealing several more inches of toned blue thighs and a scrap of black lace above them, while the other tugs at the zipper of Shepard's pants. _

_ Liara's fingers zero in almost immediately. Shepard gasps at the harsh, heavy strokes against her clit, surprised at how much she can feel through her underwear. She's already dripping everywhere, and it only gets worse—or better, really—when Liara's fingers squeeze beneath the waistband of her boxers. The moment Liara grazes her wetness, Shepard is a mess of want. Her head tips back, and her hips roll forward, eagerly seeking more. _

_But Liara doesn't allow her to be selfish. She takes one of Shepard's hands, dragging it between her own legs and beneath the edge of her panties. "This is what you're giving up every time you go off to save the galaxy,"_ _Liara mutters in her ear, trapping the lobe between her teeth and tugging sharply. "This is what you'll lose if you get yourself killed again."_

_ Shepard can only groan as her fingertips sink into slippery silken heat. Liara's azure is clutching desperately at them, trying to pull her all the way in, and she can't resist. She thrusts upward just as Liara does the same, and their lips crash together in another messy kiss as they fill each other. _

_ She does her best to concentrate, to bring Liara pleasure, to pump deep and curl against the spot that always makes her lover shudder and fall apart, but it's difficult. Liara is fucking into her harder than ever before, so hard it almost hurts, but she can't bring herself to ask for a gentler pace. Whatever Liara needs to give to her and take from her, she's willing to accept. _

_ It doesn't take much. Thanks to the kissing, and the intensity of the moment, mixed in with the heavy thump of the music, they're soon swept away. The bass pounds faster and harder, hammering like a frantic heartbeat, and Liara's thrusts speed up too, hooking against Shepard's front wall and hitting the perfect spot. She comes first, and even though pride would normally have her protesting, she can't find the strength this time. Her inner walls seize and shiver, clutching desperately at Liara's fingers and releasing a flood. There's still slick heat at her fingertips, too, and she drives up as hard as she can, searching out the ridge of Liara's clit with her thumb. "Come with me, Liara. Please?" She needs to make Liara come. Needs to make sure she understands... _

_ "Shepard..." _

_ Everything explodes with stars. She's floating through space again, except this time it feels more like flying, and there are beautiful points of light everywhere. Even though she's still somewhere outside of her body, somehow she can feel Liara's arms around her, Liara's lips against her cheek, Liara's fingers filling her... _

Liara let out a sharp cry, and Shepard was yanked abruptly back into her body. Her muscles continued fluttering with aftershocks, and when she opened her eyes, it was to the beautiful sight of Liara riding the crest of the same wave that had just crashed over Shepard. Her lover’s mouth hung open, and her swirling black eyes were screwed shut with pleasure. Shepard couldn't bear to waste the opportunity. She cupped Liara's cheek in her free hand, the one that hadn't worked its way into Liara's pants, and brought their mouths together in another kiss, swallowing Liara's screams until their quivering bodies finally stilled.

The meld tapered off slowly, and their bodies took longer still to separate. Even after Liara let Shepard’s consciousness go with a hesitant but grateful caress, their limbs stayed entwined. Shepard realized dimly that Liara had pushed her up against the desk, but she didn't mind the slight discomfort of its edge digging into her upper thighs. She was happy right where she was—tucked into Liara's embrace, holding her tightly in return.

"Feel better?" she asked when she could finally speak again.

"Mm." Liara placed a kiss at the base of her throat, sighing with a sound Shepard recognized as happiness. It was so familiar and so obvious that she didn't even need the meld to interpret it.

"I'll take that as a yes," she said, trying not to sound too pleased with herself. "But I meant what I said, Liara. You mean everything to me. You always will."

"But what if everything isn't enough?" Liara looked up at her with wide eyes, no longer black, but a soft, sad blue, swimming with tears. "I've lost count of the times one of us has almost died. There is no guarantee that the two of us will survive this war."

"No, there's no guarantee," Shepard admitted. "But if you think a little thing like death is going to stop me from coming back to you, you're wrong. I've already come back once. And I'm just going to keep coming back again and again until there's nothing left to keep us apart. I'll dodge bullets, blow up Reapers, have Miranda turn me into a cyborg, send my ghost to haunt you, become a stream of energy like siari says. But one way or another, you're stuck with me."

To her relief, Liara began laughing, a high, pure sound containing none of the earlier tension. The noise vibrated through both of their chests, and soon, Shepard was laughing too.

"Now, that is one promise I believe you'll keep," Liara said, through a fit of tearful giggles.

Shepard smiled, placing a kiss in the middle of Liara's forehead. "Always. I promise."


End file.
